"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
My Stepdad Talks About Ass Wrinkles Part Two: THE CURE
My Stepdad Talks About Ass Wrinkles Part One.
This started because I read one of tmihijabi’s anons out loud.
Protestant Christians still go through an intercessor - Jesus. I have yet to hear a prayer from a Protestant that doesn’t invoke Jesus at some point before Amen. So they’ve replaced The Catholic Church with one of Allah’s creation.
Posting this for commentary purposes.
Assalaamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatu,
Sorry to break the little fantasy bubble that so many people put up, but, it does. I feel like this is a much needed post. It is meant to be a warm-hearted post, and I’m just trying to break down some boundaries that people feel so inclined to put up.
Firstly I’ll start out with something that I find hilarious…and somewhat not. My non-Muslim friends on campus seem to think I have some sort of “Muslim filter” that makes me not think about anything sexual or want anything sexual, almost like they believe Muslims don’t have hormones. Wrong. We do. Though those who are born Muslim may have been exposed to less due to their upbringing in a Muslim household, this doesn’t mean we go through adolescence without the obnoxious hormones that everyone else gets! We are biologically built that way. It happens.
And so does sex. We have to get over this fact. Sex is treated as a social taboo: something that almost everyone does at some point in their life, but it is looked down heavily to talk about in any sense.
I should mention quickly one thing: I do believe in privacy. I really do. I am not the type of person to go shouting out every feeling or thought to everyone, so when I say that sex should be able to be spoken about seriously I mean either 1. amongst adults in a hypothetical or educational sense, not sharing stories, gossiping, etc. or 2. in the general educational sense.
There is something that many people forget: sex is natural. Hormones are natural. People were built to reproduce, which is why we have reproductive systems. This being said, our bodies do not come with manuals. There is a lot of education that should probably take place before putting them into use in a sexual manner. With this, it is better if adults can discuss or ask questions in an environment that feels safe and judgment-free, due to the fact that sexual habits tend to be private, so we feel ashamed of the fact that maybe we don’t function in a “normal” manner. However, every body is different, and functions different. With this, people should be able to discuss things on this topic in an educational manner so they can receive feedback and learn more about themselves.
As many people know, there are even HADITHS about sex, and it is interesting how romantics are also involved in such a text. For example:
“When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation.
Someone asked ‘What is the Envoy O Prophet?’ He said, ‘kisses and words of love.’ The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife. “
Yet we treat sex as something we cannot discuss without getting vulgar/crude, immature, or hysterical. Sex can be discussed without a bunch of people getting aroused and with a purpose. However, even as adults, we seem to be unable to get over the immature reactions towards the topic. This especially in true in the Muslim community. “That’s haraam!” is so easily said, especially when discussing these topics. Please, if you use this phrase, point to me in the Qur’an or to a strong Hadith that says something is haraam and forbidden in Islam. The last time I checked, discussing sex, a natural and human act, is not haraam.
I have a high respect for people who can discuss taboo or “uncomfortable” topics without a bat of an eyelash and who are honest and mature about it. There is one particular Muslima that comes to mind when I think of this, and that is TMIHijabi who does a wonderful job of answering very important questions that many people have, specifically ones on sex and the reproductive system. I would direct you to her if you have any specific questions on any of these subjects. Though she will state herself that she is not a scholar, she can give very fulfilling answers with an Islamic point-of-view, if necessary.
My parents used to tell me, “If people can’t discuss sex in a mature manner, they shouldn’t be having it.” I think these are wise words to remember, especially as many of us reach ages where we could get engaged or married if Allah SWT wills us to meet our significant other.
You can wrap it like a dupatta, but know that everytime you sit down you’ll have to make sure not to sit on it. youtu.be/UF_R7j5…
Thank you so much! She also has another one I found helpful. I currently don’t want to screw up the hijab I have on, but insha’Allah I’ll post a success of a use of this one!